Ali Jafarian
Ali Jafarian

Look at me, dad. Watch this! Hey, mom… hey, mom… hey, mom…

These are the things that young children say. If you’re a parent you know them all too well. My children are in a strong phase of “look at me.”

Which got me thinking… where does this come from?

Answer = Validation

Children are seeking validation. It shapes their perspective of the world to make sure they’re getting approval of their actions. That’s why they make comments like this. They need our approval.

Some examples:
  • My son asks me to look at the legos he’s built. This is validation that I approve of his creativity.
  • My daughter asks me to look at the princess dress she picked out. This is validation that I approve of her beauty.

Here’s the funny part. We never quite shake this need for validation as we age. In fact, it gets even stronger.

More examples:
  • We seek validation from peers. We need their approval of friendship and acceptance.
  • We seek validation from teams and coaches. We need their approval of talent and progress.
  • We seek validation from consumers as businesses. We need their approval of product market fit.
  • We seek validation from our children. We need their approval of love and affection.

The need for validation is all around us. It shows up in conversation, family dynamics, marketing, and anything that promotes status of any kind.

This blog post is a form of validation!!

I’m writing this to get validation from the online world. My internal validation is approval that I’m helpful to others. Otherwise, I’d just write it for myself.

And this is the important part.

If we’re truly experiencing life… truly being present… truly being our authentic selves… why would we need validation? Why would we care what others think or seek their approval?

I almost refrained from publishing this post… but it was too interesting to not post. It really got me thinking about the following question:

“What do I need validation for and why?”

I hope this sparks something for you 🙂


Ali Jafarian

Ali is the creator of this site. He is a father, husband, serial entrepreneur, software engineer and last but not least - a relentless life learner. He adds Siracha to 90% of the food he consumes.


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